More often, we are told to not compare ourselves or our lifestyle to those around us. We listen, and we try hard not to.
However, we are surrounded by social media, the greatest temptation of all time to self-comparison: In my opinion. If you compare yourself to your peers or followers or people you follow on social media, you are not alone. I am guilty myself of that. I have compared myself to those people with “best lifestyle” on social media and it almost destroyed me.
The truth is, once in a while we all compare ourselves to others. We compare our weaknesses to their strength without Knowing we are doing it. That is not a fair comparison. But we often don’t realize that because we are so into their lifestyle that we forget we have a life of our own to live that is so much different from theirs.
And as time goes by, we notice that our self-confidence is going down, and self-hatred is skyrocketing. But we fail to understand why. This is because the comparison happens on a subconscious level.
“Without our awareness, our nervous system monitors the behaviour of people all around us. The formal atmosphere of a museum quiets our conversation. If someone stops in the middle of the street to look up, others will also look up. If someone you respect bows to authority, you are more likely to follow suit. We tend to compare and imitate. We sense their tension and imitate their focus of attention. All this is done without much conscious awareness”.
It is the same thing when we compare our failures to the success of others or our lifestyle to those of others. We do it with so much less awareness that by the time we realize it, it might already be damaging to us.
Social media is the dark playground for this subconscious comparison. Every time we log any of our social media accounts, we subconsciously compare ourselves to those people on our feed. Though, hundred percent of the time we deny it, convincing ourselves that we know most of it is not true; but there is that little voice in our heads wondering with the question “what if it’s true”? I’m left behind…omg! I will never be this cool!…you know how it goes.
Self-comparison is hazardous to us and the people around us. It doesn’t only make us unhappy, it turns to anger and violent actions. We become a danger to ourselves and to our family and friends. That is not good! It’s not good for our general well-being and state of mind. We need ourselves as whole to be able to navigate this crazy world.
“One’s inability to match the achievements of others switches to anger over the unfairness of it all. Anger redirects to the nearest victim. Subconscious social comparison triggers destructive envy, which harms people and makes them wish ill upon their neighbours”.
So, how do you end all these? You might ask. Well, below I have some tips that might help you.
How to stop self-comparison
Compare you to you
Compare yourself to yourself. Look at where you are coming from and where you are heading to. Compare what you did last, to what you are doing now: is there any improvement? If you think there is little improvement, make it your mission to make the next big thing Big!!!
Be thankful for what you have
We often forget that we have so much to be thankful for: our health, achievement (no matter how little), friends and family. When we recognize and appreciate the little things in life, we stop wanting or wishing to be somebody else because we are happy with what we have.
You can still aim for bigger things in life, but don’t do it because you want to be like X, Y or Z. Do it because you want to and because you want to be a better version of yourself
Focus on your strength
Stop stressing on your weakness and focus on your strength. If you work on improving your weakness, you might get better but, you will not have as much time to focus on your strength. Make your strength your priority. If you are good at something already; let’s say design, put all your effort into becoming the best designer there is. It is a good idea to try and improve on some of your weaknesses, but if it’s preventing you from focusing on what is more important to you, it’s time to let go. Besides, it’s a weakness anyway!
Be satisfied with what you have
Always wanting what others have can lead to a never-ending circle of unhappiness and discontent.
Be okay with what you have and keep working hard to achieve more, but never compare yourself to another person, and wanting or wishing for what they have. That will only make you more unsatisfied. Learn to be satisfied with what you have.
Stop it (Awareness)
Become self-aware. understand yourself; Monitor your thoughts actions and so on.
Self-awareness will help you notice when you are comparing yourself to others and be able to stop yourself. Being in control of your awareness means, not letting your surrounding change who you truly are. Be true to yourself, and you will be happy.
That’s all I have for you today, I hope you find it helpful.
Thank you for stopping by.